Structure of Verbal Game (Vibing)
Verbal Game = chody (or comfort talk) + emotional spikes (negative and positive).
The above is pretty straight froward, follow the formula and the girl’s emotions will be with you.
Comfort talk is basically an exchange of information. ‘Hello, I’m a yoga instructor’. Use it so you guys get to know each other, and she feels comfortable with you. Don’t talk to her in interview mode. It’s ok to ask a few questions, but try to make statements instead, and actually get to know her. Remember, the girl is out at a club/bar to have fun, she won’t listen to boring talk forever, you need to give her emotional spikes. Be aware of what she’s feeling, and if she starts losing interest, calibrate. Some girls prefer more comfort while others more emotional talk, the more you interact with girls, the more you’ll be able to calibrate.
Emotional talk– Is basically anything that can be negative or positive, that makes the girl laugh or look at you in surprise. i.e ‘I love you’, ‘I fucking hate New York, some homeless guy tried to fight me the other night’ (true story by the way).
You need express yourself emotionally, and give emotions to you words. When I go out, I usually only go for emotional talk, until the girl starts asking me logical questions like ‘Where do you live’, ‘What do you do’ etc.
Also be careful, not to be Mr. Positive, the girl will doubt your honesty, if you’re always positive. She needs the negative spikes and you need to have no filters.
The more range of emotions you go with her and the more comfort talk, the more she will feel like she knows you longer, and the more she will feel attracted and comfortable.
Some of my favorite ways to give her emotional spikes:
- If she asks what I do, I always give a fake answer before I give a serious one.
- Example: How old are you? ‘Im 12 but I do meth so I look old’, or ‘I’m 40, but I have a baby face’.
- Some girls enjoy being negged. If so, you can easily spike their emotions that way. ‘What do you do? Are you a waitress’. ‘Did you buy this at the Gap?’
- Sexual misinterpretation are fun, ‘Are you gonna stalk me?’ ‘Don’t check me out, I’m not a sex object’.
- ‘My name is John Snow, but you can call me babe’.
Use assumptions as Negs– ‘You look like a girl from the countryside’. ‘Do you go to community college‘. Then change the topic immediately. Don’t wait for her to react.
Verbal Escalation or Sexualization doesn’t need to make logical sense. Talk about how you have a small dick. Or how she looks like a naughty girl, ‘I bet you like it hard’. You can really saying anything, as long as you calibrate for the girl.
Disqualify yourself. Tell her that you’re bi-sexual. Ask about her preferences in guys (or assume) and try to match her with a dude at the club- somebody below her league.
Make it relevant. Make it relevant towards you and her. Use phrases such as: ‘You make me feel like’ or ‘You look like’ etc.
Be aware if the girl doesn’t know you, you don’t want to offend her with too much negative emotional spikes. Negative spikes and cocky lines seem to work better with American girls.
Negs make perfect emotional spikes, but you need to be very subtle. Don’t make it look try hard. Make it look like you’re naive or unaware.
You need to do both emotional spikes and comfort boring talk. Sprinkle the emotions in between the comfort talk. Each girl is different, you will need to add more spikes or more comfort depending on her type. Calibrate. Look at her body language, reactions and eye contact. If she’s disinterested, add spikes; if she starts asking logical questions build comfort. If you see her get offended just apologize, give a statement of empathy and change the topic. ‘Sorry, you probably think I’m a dick, I’m just in a good mood’. Be aware not to qualify yourself too much and quickly change the topic after you apologize. Learn her blueprint and try not to offend her again later in the interaction.
The goal is to find her blue-print and give her what she needs. Some girls only respond to comfort talk, while others want to be negged. Figure out what works best. You can screen the girl’s blue-print by giving little negs, little positive emotions, little cocky-funny lines and see what she responds to best. There are some types of girls, that are validation seeking, those respond really well to negs and negative emotional spikes. Once you give those girls validation, they will walk away. You want them to keep chasing for your validation- I’ll probably make a separate post on this.
If a girl asks, ‘Are you drunk’ or ‘Are you high’ or ‘I can’t tell if you’re kidding’, this means that you’re joking around too much and she can’t relate to you. Don’t be the clown, women want a man, not a clown.
Be aware that she will try to do the same to you, give you emotional spikes, shove you in your head etc. You need to be aware and stay non-reactive. Don’t fall into her frame, and don’t qualify yourself. She may ignore you, engage another dude, shit test you, call you out to her friends. She wants to shove you in your head. Don’t react to that.
Always tell yourself, my mood is not subject to her bullshit, and be aware who’s setting the frame of the interaction, who’s reacting to whom- this is a good topic for a separate post.
The Goal of Vibing
The goal of vibing, emotional talk and escalation, is to pump up the buying temperature. This is an RSD term, but is pretty valid. Other guy’s in the club, can pump up a girl’s buying temperature aka her emotions and her arousal/horniness. If it’s early in the night, you could be warming up a girl for the next guy and that’s okay. Don’t be mad, have fun, get out of your head and keep approaching and learning.