Increasing Your Masculine Energy

yoga on the beach

In today’s society, us men have it easy. We don’t have to go out in the wilderness, hunt, risk our lives, and fight other tribes. Life is becoming much easier (thanks to modern technology), but this ease of life, sets men down a path of laziness, especially with the endless entertainment options available to us. A life of sitting on the couch, watching TV, movies, or playing video games seems to be the default for many my age. I am not against those things, but it is clear when some people’s lives are consumed by them, when they are not living up to their potential, when they have lost their masculine energy, their self esteem and are wasting their life.

Even if you are not wasting your life away, the masculinity that was prevalent among men in 1920’s to 1950’s America, is not as prevalent today. On my journey to becoming more masculine these are some hobbies of mine, that have helped me increase my masculinity.


Solo Travel

Solo travel, one of my favorite hobbies, is great for building self esteem and self reliance. Solo travel might seem more fun than it actually is, until you try it yourself. It takes some getting used to. When you are in a foreign country by yourself, you don’t know anyone, and can’t speak the language, you are forced to rely on yourself. You must get out of your comfort zone and create your reality. When you are at home, you decide with your friends, you make plans, you push each other.

When you travel solo, you have none of that. You are literally on your own (unless you decide to stay at a hostel). You must figure out how to order food, tip, where to go, how to stay safe, how to take public transportation etc. When hitting up bars/clubs at night, you might be harassed by the bouncers or cock blocked by the local dudes. You will be forced to stand your ground, and nurture your masculinity. Solo travel forces you to get out of your head, to rely on yourself to make plans, create your reality, have fun, and enjoy your time. If you travel solo and end up being miserable, you have no one to blame but yourself.


Hiking in the Woods

Hiking is another one of those activities that forces you out of your head, out of your comfort zone. You must be present and figure out how you will get from point A to point B, and you might get lost along the way. Going out in the woods all alone or with friends, will force you to overcome your fear and become self reliant. You will trust yourself more, that no matter what happens you will be ok. You also gain memories and hence things to talk about that make you more interesting to women.

hiking in the woods

Work Out

Exercise is the best investment for your health. It also helps with anxiety, depression, and low testosterone. Pushing yourself to the limit strengthens not only your physical body but also your mind, your self discipline. It feels great, to go the gym after a long day, and let out all the energy constructively, all that built up energy from the day’s bullshit. When you’re at the point where you feel the burn, you almost want to stop, you need to push yourself.  This will build your self discipline: another muscle that you can strengthen over time.

work out, gym

Cold Approach

Cold approach is the most masculine thing you can do. Approaching a girl you find attractive, putting yourself in a position to get rejected, is not only a valuable skill, but also very masculine. Not many guys in today’s society are able to approach women. I blame porn and the lack of male energy. Most guys I see out at clubs are drinking, and socializing with their buddies, they just look at girls, they can’t approach. Cold approach forces you to be a man: to lead the interaction, figure out her logistics and pull her.



Don’t Make Women the Center of Your Life

It is female energy whose sole purpose is to reproduce, hence women always talk about relationships, men, and love. You should never make your life revolve around a girl. If you are in a relationship, you should still be focusing on yourself, doing what you enjoy, and not structuring your life around a woman. She will secretly resent you if you do. Masculine energy is penetrating energy, it is about finding purpose, building things, and constructing, it’s purpose is not love. So never give up your freedom or your life purpose for a girl.

a couple

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8 thoughts on “Increasing Your Masculine Energy

  1. …about the “finding your purpose” topic… What if I can never come up with a life purpose that seems worthwhile to me? I’ve been trying to find one for years now, but I just can never think of anything exciting enough for me to pursue as a “purpose”. It’s like everything in life is bland and unstimulating to me.

    1. I’ll start by asking how old are you?
      It takes time to really become a man, and start to pursue things. Personally, I really changed from a boy to an adult in my early 20’s (22-24). If you’re younger, you don’t have to find your purpose, but it helps to experiment.

      – Surround yourself with people that are positive
      – Hit the gym, seriously, or do some exercise or work out (tennis, basketball whatever), your energy levels will increase dramatically
      – Eat healthy, this is difficult, but again this will increase your energy levels, so you can actually experiment, and try to figure out what inspires you in life
      – Meditate, and sleep well.

      You want to start by taking care of yourself, increasing your energy levels. Then naturally, you will feel inspired to do things in life that inspire you.

  2. Thanks for the advice John although I’m already doing all of those things (self-development, working out/eating healthy) and still feel very lost,… and I’m 29 so I definetly feel I should have found my niche in life by now, but again nothing is exciting to me

    1. if you are doing everything you can to increase your energy (like eating healthy, working out etc.), and still feel lost. Maybe you are wasting that extra energy on useless shit, do you masturbate daily, watch TV daily? you should reduce things that are not helping you.

      you gotta expose yourself to different ideas. I’d recommend picking up non-fiction books (biographies, self development, history etc.), listening to podcasts, and seeing what ideas you resonate with.

      If you’re masturbating daily, or watching useless TV shows a lot. The journey of cutting your addictions to these things, might help you realize what inspires you. If you have a little depression, or apathy, there’s no quick fix to these things, you gotta work your way up the emotional levels, into enthusiasm and joy.

      1. No actually I barely watch tv or masterbate at all… it’s like, it’s hard to cultivate some enthusiasm/passion for life when it’s just not there in the first place. Even the times when I try to find some enthusiasm anyway, it feels fake.

        1. I think we all have a purpose on earth, otherwise we wouldn’t be here. You don’t have to force yourself to find it, I think as long as you’re not wasting your life, watching TV, masturbating, or sitting every day doing something unproductive, you’re fine. Just be open to it when it comes, keep reading, learning, and experimenting with trying new things, and I think naturally you will find your purpose (it could be having a family, helping others, or maybe even meditating and learning to be happy with yourself).

  3. Hey John, could you elaborate on this “If you are in a relationship, you should still be focusing on yourself, doing what you enjoy, and not structuring your life around a woman. She will secretly resent you if you do.” particularly where the resentment comes from.. thank you!

    1. I suggest you check ‘The Way of The Superior Man’ by David Deida. I will leave some quotes here that I think might help answer your question:

      -“The priority of the masculine core is mission, purpose or direction in life. The priority of the feminine core is the flow of love in intimacy.”

      -“A woman sometimes seems to want to be the most important thing in her man’s life. However if she is the most important thing, then she feels her man has made her the number one priority and is not fully dedicated to divine growth or service. She will feel her man’s dependence on her for his happiness, and this will make her feel smothered by his neediness and clinging. A woman really wants her man to be totally dedicated to his highest purpose and also to love her fully. Although she would never admit it, she wants to feel that her man would be willing to sacrifice their relationship for the sake of his highest purpose.”

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